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biology is a bore

Who knew biology could be so boring? Especially for an aspiring physician.

I have a test tomorrow. Yes, I studied. It was just so boring. I didn’t even feel like memorizing all the definitions, processes, and characteristics of stupid bacteria, fungi, and especially protists. Protists are the worst. They’re only placed in Kingdom Protista because they don’t fit into all the other kingdoms. Talk about pathetic. That’s when you know you don’t belong. Protists are a mixture of the social outcasts in school. The introverted geeks who choose not to associate themselves with other people. The crazy goths you see staring you down but never having the balls to call you out. The quiet emos. The loners. They’re all protists.

Protists are mostly unicellular. Some are multicellular. They can be either autotrophic or heterotrophic. (I know…I’m reviewing biology through blogging? Real sharp.) They produce both asexually or sexually. Their size ranges vary. See what I mean? Some are animal-like. Some are plant-like. Some are fungis-like. But at the same time, they’re not animals. They’re not plants. They’re not fungi. They don’t belong!

I hate protists.

The only thing I like about protists is the fact that they live in aquatic environments. Because I’m a swimmer. Naturally.

Fungi is #2 on my least favourite kingdom. Um, first of all…they’re digusting to look at? Who cares about how they reproduce? They all reproduce through spores anyway. Is it really necessary to classify them as zoospores? Zygospores? Ascospores? Basidiospores? I honestly don’t care about their hyphae either. Other words for hyphae are haustoria (specialized hyphae that can penetrate through a host’s cell without killing it right away) and mycorrhiza (hyphae that exist surrounding plant roots). Definitions are straight out of the textbook. No way am I going to cite them here. These definitions are too boring to even deserve a proper citation.

And then I get all confused about whether each kingdom consists of heterotrophs or autotrophs; reproduce sexually or asexually; are unicellular or multicellular; are terrestrial or aquatic; or are anaerobic or aerobic. They’re all different! You see, plants are autotrophs. Fungi, you would assume to be autotrophs as well because they look so much like plants. No. They’re more closely related to animals than to plants. Isn’t that so messed up? Because, you see, fungi are heterotrophic and their cell walls are made of chitin not cellulose. Oh wow.

And what’s with the complicated names of each organism? Methanococcus jannaschii? Staphlococcus aureaus? Bacillus anthracis? Treponema pallidum? Which, by the way, is syphillis. Oh, and that’s just the prokaryotes. We also have amoeba proteus, entamoeba hystolitica, foraminifera, giardia, trypanosoma, and chlamydomonas. Those are all the protists. See why I hate protists so much now? No way am I memorizing all this.

And I want to be a DOCTOR. I’m so bored in biology. What am I to do? Maybe it’s just because we haven’t started the units dealing with biochemistry, molecular genetics, or the human anatomy.

Oh, and by the way, if you’re bored with this post? Point proven. Biology sucks.


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